WARNING! CONTENT MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO SOME! IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, REALIZE THAT THIS IS THE AUTHOR'S OWN PERSONAL OPINION. ANY AND ALL DEROGATORY REMARKS WILL BE DELETED. PLEASE TRY TO KEEP YOUR CRITICISM CONSTRUCTIVE.
Recently in my Interpersonal Communication in Film class, we discussed what it means to be an American. Other students in my class proudly kept adding to the discussion, prolonging it, and giving me time to reflect on what it actually means to be American. Here goes.
First and foremost, Americans always "Look out for number one." When someone mentions this, Americans will without fail smile proudly and bob their heads. We criticize other cultures and societies for being "so far behind us, and going backwards" as I heard it put recently. Have we stopped to think that maybe the cause of this is because people in other cultures give a damn about their families, and will work towards family goals instead of individual goals? We spend our time working to buy something new for ourselves to use: 16 year olds working to buy a car, college students saving up to pay for that new game. And don't give me that shit about saving to pay for college. They're just going to college to make more money so they can spend more on themselves. People in other cultures work hard and save up to spend money on their families: a big fancy meal, a small trip, new beds, etc. They find meaning in the people and culture around them. What do young people in America that are proud to be American do? Make fun of these hard-working people and relegate them to the back of their minds because they don't go out and buy designer clothes and XBOX 360s every other week.
And so we move on to our next topic of discussion: the proud American pastime of watching football, getting drunk, and beating the shit out of the guy wearing the wrong colors. Since the start of this country, we have waged a war against gangs. We did it for good reason, too. Gangs are, in general definition, a negative aspect of our "great" country. As we reached towards the new millennium, gangs were differentiated by color. If a guy wearing a red shirt was in "blue's land", his ass was forfeit to a beat down. And we cracked down on this type of behavior, because it is a detrimental factor. But when it comes to sport fans, and the fighting and arguing that ensues when some drunk ass inevitably wanders onto the wrong side of the bar, we blow it off as "competitive spirit" or blame the alcohol. Seems to me that this is some gang violence, and we need to take these fuckers to jail. Or at least put a stop on America's "greatest" pastime: Drinking your ass off while your team throws their season down the drain.
As Americans, we believe in the supreme dominance of our way of life. A common thought among many Americans is that "democracy is a good idea": that is to say, democracy needs to be spread to the "less developed" parts of the world. I'd like to make a few points about this one. First, all we hear nowdays is how fucking stupid those that are in power can be. And I think: so, which fucking stupid idiot put him there? Democracy is one of the biggest piles of bullshit that human kind has concocted...right next to religion, but that's another discussion. All democracy does is trick ignorant people into thinking that they have a say in what happens in their life. Everyone "gets to vote, and your vote counts, so choose your next leader!" Ah, bullshit. Just look at our recent history. Al Gore had the election won, but the oil companies that run this sad sack pile of shit we call a country said, "hell no, we want that guy that has friends that pump oil! He'll know what we want, and keep us happy." All Al Gore did was say that he was going to run this country right, and all the bigwigs got worried that he was gonna fuck up a sweet thing and they'd have to spend years undoing the good he was going to try and do (although, he probably would have fucked it royally eventually...everyone has a price). Don't believe me? Look just four years later. George W. Bush wins again...apparently the people didn't think he fucked it up bad enough. But I'd be willing to put money on the big wigs up there going, "hey, he's got the right idea...we're gonna have to fuck with the election, and make sure we can milk this cash cow another four years." So, back to the topic. Democracy, and how great it is. Americans have been taught since they were born that communism is bad. I'm not saying its good, but it seems to work just as fucking well as democracy, because you notice it's still alive and well in our world. Maybe we should take the time to peruse other cultures, and see if just maybe they work before we go in with our bombs and our democracy and fuck everything up.
Patriotism. What a load of shit. Patriotism has to be the biggest fucking cause of tit-flipping and shit-fit-throwing in America today. Bigger than abortion. Bigger than gay rights. Patriotism is a massive, nationwide fight right now...and all because we decided to bomb the shit out of some country that had its own unique culture and people. Patriotism is another thing that Americans are extremely proud of. We see it as the main reason that our country is so great...next to democracy and the job market, of course. We feel that to make our country great, all it needs is the support of its people. Wow, thats just a little conceded, isn't it? This land, full of 300 million people, can become the lead country in the world, just because I go outside and hang my flag and take my hat off when someome puts on a tape of a song that some guy wrote while he was in jail, staring at fireworks. But thats ok. Thats what makes our country so great. What I love most is the reactions that I get when i leave my hat on my head and my hands in my pockets. The last time I did it, some drunk ass decided that the hat was coming off, and the hands were going over my heart, whether I liked it or not. Hmm, good luck bitch. Your drunk, and off balance. Have fun with those stairs. The security guards weren't to happy when he hit them, and he got to spend the night with Bubba in detox. But the part I love most is the thought that the only offensive thing in that situation was my refusal to "show the respect our country deserves" in the way that he deemed necessary. Apparently, being blind stinking drunk to the point that your buddies have tattooed a penis to you face isn't anywhere near disrespectful...especially when the other guy is wearing a hat. Patriotism is defined as the love, support, devotion, and defense of a person's country or at least a national loyalty. So patriotism is a good thing. But everybody is patriotic. Anybody anywhere can be patriotic. So why the hell are we bombing people in the middle of the desert halfway across the world for being unpatriotic?
You know what? I've still got like three things on my list, but this fucker is long enough, so I'll just cross two of these off. Unfortunately, this third one is so damn big, you'll have to wait for my next installment. Sorry.
